IN LIEU OF GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF SUCK
Here's even MORE gratuitous amounts of suck:
So I was poking around here and came upon ~SSjUmi
's webcam on her frontpage. [Which makes my nose bleed by the way].
I was also talking to ~Kyotama
at the time and she told me she couldn't stop listening to two songs and wanted me to fix the problem.
And because telling her change songs was taking the easy way out I concocted this little drabblet of suck with MUCHO inspiration from fuckingsexyhottwenties Chester and reasonabllysexyfinetwenties Mike in ~SSjUmi
SO ENJOY THE SUCK. 8D
Also: Thanks to *JadeofAllTrades
for being interested in the drabblet of suck.
MATURE WARNING: NAUGHTY LANGUAGES AND MAYBE DISTURBING MENTAL PICTURES OF CHEEKY UNDIES AND A FETUS. BUT NOT TECHNICALLY AT THE SAME TIME.
I wrinkled my nose.
"You smell dude."
Chester licked his lips and blinked at me from behind his glasses and glowered at me, "I'm sucking Jack Daniels' dick. What the fuck am I supposed to smell like?"
I let out a gutteral sigh and turned back to the computer. My own eyes are sore and tired and I need my glasses to give me the extra strength to see. I can hear his lips suckle the bottle like a nursing animal and I turn to glare at him.
"Do you HAVE to be so fucking loud?"
Chester gives me a dirty look and stands up. His gangly limbs are long and heavy looking. "Do you HAVE to be such a bitch? Goddamn I thought I left my wife at home. I didn't think YOU were wearing her panties AND her fucking kotex too."
I sneered at him as he passed by on the way to the kitchen leaving a cloud of bourbon and dying cologne in his wake. The T-shirt he was wearing was two sizes too big for his skinny frame.
"Don't get so offended Chester just because your wife's red lace cheeky undies look better on my ass than hers."
Without turning around he raised a flamed arm in the air and with one long bony finger flipped me the bird.
"How's the wife anyway Chaz?"
Rob was zoned in front of the tv playing Mortal Kombat on my super nintendo which just might be as old as life itself. The only other time he gets that absorbed is at the titty bar when a supple ass is wiggling in his face.
Somewhere from the bowels of the kitchen Chester grumbles like a feral beast.
Rob pauses the game and looks at the sound of the gutteral mewl, "She's WHAT?"
Chester reiterates in another unintelligible grumble.
I look up from my screen to the kitchen to see Chester trying to relight his cigarette on the burner of the stove.
I lift my lips in a cruel smirk and turn to Rob again, "Don't you speak 'Benning' by now? He said his wife is getting too fat to fuck and the baby grabs on his cock and yanks him in whenever he remotely tries."
Striking a nerve, Chester grabs his lover Jack by the neck and slams him on the counter. Brown poison erupts from Jack's mouth.
"Fuck you Shinoda!" he growls at me; the beast is unleashed, "You don't know fucking shit."
I swallow a threatening laugh and turn back to my screen, "I love you too Chaz. And thanks for keeping my counter in one piece."
Rob resumes playing; his attention to the bouncing boobs on screen, "Dude, you need to get laid."
Chester's narrow stride comes back into the living room and he sucks long and hard on his cigarette.
"No dude. YOU're the one that needs to get laid," tendrils of smoke snake from his nostrils, "You're playing as a girl just to watch her tits bounce."
He's such a fucking liar.
"I'm playing as Jade because she can do serious damage with her pole."
More like: she could do serious damage to HIS pole. But Bourdon prides himself in making it seem like he less of a pervert than he really is.
Bless his heart.
"Then why don't you play as Kitana?" Chester hovers over Rob to peer at the jiggling breasts. His tongue traces the thin flesh of his bottom lip.
I always took Chester to be an ass man.
"Because she's named for a Japanese sword," Rob offers. This is his trademark answer. Chester and i have made this observation hundreds of times before, and have argued in defense of Kitana, Milena, and even Sonya in the past. But it's like arguing with a wall.
It's Jade and her pole that turns Rob on.
But because what the fuck kind of reasoning THAT is I've yet to learn. Which is why I continue prodding:
"And he's afraid she'll lop off his dick before he can get it in her," Chester answers for him, mashing his cigarette into the stray bottle cap from Jack. His eyes are like two piss holes in the snow, and they're beginning to get bloodshot.
Whether this is because he's tired or full of booze, I'm not too sure.
But I think it's a safe assumption to say both.
"The metal fans tweak him out."
Chester flops back next to Rob on the couch and Rob's face turns eight shades of red.
"Yeah okay," Chester leans forward and grabs the second control, "Restart this game. My babe Kitana is going to kick your Jade's ASS."
Rob sinks lower into the couch he's practically on the floor.
I snort a laugh and go back to the computer.
Chester knows his way around a woman and can get her to move in anyway that suits his needs.
Rob on the other hand..just likes to see bouncing boobs.
This is why Chester's Kitana always wins.
And also why Rob's a sore loser.
TO BE CONTINUED?
And if this was even worse SUCK than I promised you, you have Kyo to blame for getting me going in the first place.
And DLB for being the inquisitive person she is and egging me on for more.